As you all know, I turned 30 at the end of February. It was a little stressful for me. Who was I? Who did I want to become? All that good stuff. One of the many questions I pondered, was baby related.
I have always wanted to be a mother. When I was little I thought 4 would be perfect. In my imagination I would have a girl, twin boys, and one adopted older child! 4 seems lofty these days though! At the end of my pregnancy with E, I swore up and down that she would be it! A boy and a girl. Perfect. I was very round, and very tired! After she was here I was delighted. She’s so fun and full of personality. O and E make a great team, but could they use another? A little brother or sister to round out that team?
I think it really began when I should have started giving things away. I flat out didn’t want to. I teared up every time I packed away a too small sleeper, or mailed the coolest shoes off to the bestie for her son. I wanted it all back! I couldn’t imagine not using it again. Not seeing those little hats again. Then 30 came along. IF we do want another, do I want to be 35? Do I want two so close together and another so far? Have the reasons I wanted O and E so close together changed? No. And the ultimate question of all: Is there a little someone waiting in my heart for their turn to shine?
The answer: ABSOLUTELY! B and I talked about having a third relentlessly. Could we, should we? At the end of the day though, hearts won over minds. We may not be rich, and we may not have a house, but we are happy, loving parents. We love each other, and our children, and now that we are moving into our second trimester, I could not imagine choosing the other way. I’m not ready for my baby season to come to an end. There’s a really nice breeze here, and it smells like spring:)
Looking forward to this part of the adventure!