To Forgive and/or Forget?


verb \fər-ˈgiv, fr-\

: to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)

: to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)

: to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)

*Mirriam-Webster Dictionary

I struggle with forgiveness. I  hear the word everywhere these days. People in the media are all about “forgiveness” right now. Is it because learning to practice “forgiveness” is a good and true way to live your life? Or because making it popular ensure’s people will forgive the media for their slights? How do you forgive the unforgivable? Are you supposed to? And what about all the variables? Must you forgive and forget? How is that even possible? Does forgiving someone not equate to letting them off the hook? Do you have to be friendly with them after? Are all of these people actually forgiving, or are they just learning to let it go? Moving on with their lives without letting the slights eat up their precious mental space?

I can walk away. I can learn to let go. I can find the place in myself that releases the anger, the hurt (I hope).  But I don’t know that I can “forgive”. I certainly won’t forget. Don’t get me wrong, there is forgiveness to be found in myself, but for some and not others. The world constantly harping on “forgiveness” stresses me out though. It makes me feel like I am in the wrong when I am most certainly not. I don’t feel uplifted, I feel berated. Like I’m failing at being a victim. Am I the only one with this dilemma?

Every day I work to be a better person. Less judgmental, more loving, more free. Letting go and forgiveness are concepts that weigh on me though. I suppose this is part of life, and I must be open to learning.