Look, I read the books too. The What To Do’s, the What Not To Do’s, the User Manuals. They had a lot of great advice. They answered many important questions about building your babe, about labour and delivery. Some answered questions about what happens after, the feeding, the sleeping, the fevers, the teething. That’s pretty good. There’s a wealth of information.
BUT, you know what they don’t tell you? The little things. The everyday things. The real time milestones. The exasperating truths.
So here’s one to start you off:
THEY’LL HEADBUTT YOU IN YOUR EFFING TEETH. Now I’m not going to say this will 100% happen to everyone, buuuuut…it’s going to happen to you. Just accept it. You think you’ll have it down, you’ll think you’ve got good reflexes, but babies will lull you into a false sense of security. Awe, we’re snuggling, you’re so cute and sweet, and I love the way your hai…BAM! Straight in the teeth. Every damn time.