End of a Season

My baby season is coming to an end. It’s bittersweet to be sure but there’s also the scent of looming freedom on the breeze. I wouldn’t describe it in the sense of shackles releasing but like a blanket of snow melting in the spring. There’s a weight to it. A warm quilt that envelopes your life when a baby comes into it. They’re so warm and so fuzzy and so all-consuming.

Baby J is perfectly balanced to be a last. He’s so sweet, with his golden curls and headbutt kisses, but he’s also just annoying enough to make you a little glad to be done! Just enough perfect to remind you to savour it, but just enough menace to keep you moving along. There was a time when the toddler years made me dwell on the time that had just passed. What about this tiny shirt? Can I really give away this precious bassinet? That time has passed. I feel at peace when I give these things away now.

One of the reason’s I wanted kids close in ages was so that we could move through phases as a unit. Back then I thought I’d only have 2 so it was perfect. They’d be babies/toddlers together. They’d be children together, but as we added another and another after that the time frame got a little skewed. Although they are technically close in age if you go by succession, O is now a whopping 7 years old while Baby J is 19 months. That’s a gap I hadn’t planned for at the start of this journey. At the moment we’re in a mish-mash. Big kid stuff and toddler stuff slamming together. The sheer chaos of weeble-wobbles intermingling with Minecraft Lego kits. There are big kid adventures to be had that could be even better if there was no stroller or carrier involved and we are slowly getting to that point. Just the freedom of a toddler that walks and runs is a step up, mainly because it allows me to take a break or engage in the fun too. The park is a much better experience when Mama can go down the slide as well.

This last Summer hasn’t been my best. I’ve been out of sorts. The humidity has been insufferable. Smothering the life out of me, really. Is their a seasonal disorder specifically for gross humid summers? If there is I have it. I’m a firm believer in lazy summers, but not the unyielding apathy that has sucked me dry this season. IT. HAS. BEEN. HORRIBLE. But, I swear to you, the second a cool breeze hit me, I felt rejuvenated. I could feel the humid cloud over my head being pushed off by that breeze. Even the sun seems brighter with the haze gone. Give me a rainy day that smells like earth anytime and I will be enlivened. I think it’s kind of poetic though. I’m gearing up for potty training. He’s learning to sleep through the night. The bottles are gone. He’s saying words. In a few short months Baby J will be “just” J. Cool guy-toddler in all his glory and we will move into a whole new season together.

Some days have been so long, but many more have been so so short. This season, our baby season, is drawing closed. Off on the cool breeze. Maybe that warm quilt will wrap itself around my children once again. Maybe, when grown, they’ll choose to curl up in it too. And I will get a big old Mammy scarf to enjoy. Maybe. But for now we move forward, ever forward, on our journey to the big kid season. I’m so excited about the things yet to come!



What are you looking forward to? Are you in the throes now? What’s your favourite thing about the big kid season?