I almost said no.
I wrote out the message, full of sorries and regret. xxxxxxxxx I watched each letter disappear. Why was I saying no. Why is my default to turn down a good thing. Good offers and compliments seem to be my kryptonite. My knee-jerk reaction is to recoil, run, hide. I wish I was smooth and cool. Confident in my thanks. Maybe even graceful.
Somewhere along the way I let fear dictate my reactions. If I’m honest though, reaction, is the problem. I have grown to be reactionary. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Always assuming that I’ll fail. If I think the worst I’ll have a chance of being pleasantly surprised but never disappointed. If I don’t try, I can’t fail right?
As it turns out, if I don’t try, I can’t succeed either.
I think a lot of people fall into this cycle of self-preservation. To be bold, to be loud, to be seen is to wear your failure on your sleeve. So I’m trying to reframe it in my own mind. Maybe it’s not failure that we wear but lessons. Maybe that’s okay.
Most people, the ones that matter anyway, don’t see all of the little things we think we’ve failed at. They see us trying. They see us grinding. They see us getting up and dusting ourselves off. They don’t see our reactions because they’re mostly in our heads. Action is bold. Action stands out.
An old friend and colleague recently offered me an opportunity (we’ll get into that later!) and as much as it’s a great opportunity my knee-jerk reaction was to turn it down. I didn’t. I deleted each letter of my response and started again. I took a deep breath. This is the decade of Brave & Bold isn’t it? At least that’s what I said, so I guess I should walk my own talk.
I’m taking action.
I said yes.