I thought I’d sit down and bang out a quick post about the last decade. I thought it would be easy. As I started reflecting on the last ten years I began to ask myself a lot of questions. One that’s really rolling around in my mind is what success really means to me? What does it look like? It’s so incredibly individual. Some of my top life goals have been realised, but many have been pushed aside. Yet, ‘regret’ isn’ the word I would ever use to describe the feeling. I put in so much work, learned so much, and poured my heart and soul into this decade. The decade of babies.
The thing about babies is that they are so all-encompassing… and I had four. SO much of my life in the last 10 years has been about them. Building them, raising them, feeding them, loving them, teaching them, bouncing them, feeding them more, saving them from death defying couch jumps, rocking them, applying polysporin to them, blowing on scraped knees, double and triple checking forehead goose eggs, singing to them, reading to them, scrubbing them clean, endless amounts of researching, appointments, fretting, playing, and laughing. It’s been a lot, but it’s been an adventure and I’ve adore it.
What I haven’t done well though, is find a balance. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to. Maybe it was supposed to be about them. You only get to be a baby once and I wanted them to be just that. There was fulfilment and healing that happened in those years. I love being a mom. For the most part I put myself second though. I let other parts of me fall to the wayside. Writing, art, health, sleep… I tried to keep up but something has to give. Babies don’t keep and that’s a truth as old as time.
Baby J just turned 4. FOUR YEARS OLD! My babies are no longer babies and although there’s a twinge of sadness in that there’s also some freedom. The baby carrier is long gone. Baby gate too. No cribs or toddler beds left. This coming Summer will be our first in 10 years without a stroller. Schedule’s will get a little easier. There will be a shift in what he can do for himself vs what I still need to do for him. It seems small but it feels good. It seems fitting that we start a new decade by moving into a new family phase. The big kids phase!
With all that said, I’m trying to organise my thoughts. You can daydream all you want but you won’t get anywhere without a game plan right? So I’m taking a stab at bullet journaling. Pinterest had a zillion great ideas and ways to break down your goals and actually work them. One I really like is a Wheel Of Life. Each slice of the pie is equal, reminding me that each piece is important in a well balanced life. (I’m actually really being drawn to circles right now. Little synchronicities everywhere, if you believe in that sort of thing.)
Are you taking this times to make a fresh start? What are you doing to get started and organise your thoughts and goals? What are your best practices? Tell me about them in the comments!
It’s time to make moves. Make noise. Stretch and grow. Brave. Bold.